Everything's Almost Free Today.......

The last time this happened I lost my job, my home became a hell for 68 days, my marriage was severely tested and so was my sanity. To get a grip, I sent myself to a powerless cottage in the woods, a meditation resort called Windhorse Farm where in Tom's Cabin, complete with sawdust outhouse and woodstove, I read Shambala magazines and prayed to a higher power to save me from myself.

This time, who knows? Anyone know an exorcist.....cause I'm feeling a little pukey.

We are $2800 from paying off our housing flood disaster of October 2011, after 2 years and 2 months of Austerity Measures living for a family of five.

And now, we are flooded...........again.

So the Austerity Measures we were hoping to continue living with to fix the bathroom that doesn't work, the decks that are falling off of our house, the patio door that will give you a hernia, the front door no one can open, the kitchen with the rotting cupboards and the windows which freeze from the inside are going to have to wait a little longer.

We get to replace the basement for the third time since moving in. The idea of looking at carpet samples and visions of my days ahead with a crow bar are making me nauseous.

There will be no retreat for me this time, that is, unless I entertain the crazy thoughts in my head by converting our shed in the backyard into a Looneybin recovery center, complete with a bottle of wine I got from Christmas for some liquid cheer which I was ironically saving for a "Rainy Day", my daughter's posters of the boys from One Direction so I can make fun of their hair, and the chemicals I need to start a friendly, neighborhood meth lab as a side job.

My mother-in-love was kind enough to remind me that everything happens for a reason. Right now, I've got some pretty nutty ideas of what that reason must be. Maybe my higher power hates me, or the house is cursed, or I didn't spend enough time reading The Secret in the last year.....or it could be the rain and a sump pump that stopped working when we lost our power in the middle of the night. Does everything have to be an Oprah aha moment? Fuck Oprah and her billions....its so easy to get lost in your existential self when you worry for nothing.....gah!!!

Resisting the urge to follow my greatest instinct, which is to "GTFO" as my daughter would anagram it, is my biggest challenge right now. I don't want to FEEL anything, I don't want to acknowledge that this is happening AGAIN, and I really think we would all be better off with a blow torch and a match right now.

Because I have bigger dreams for this family than just fixing our "Dream" home over and over to infinity and beyond. As good as the Austerity Measures have been, making us more financially accountable, creative and focused, I don't want to Extreme Coupon forever.

I refuse to go into thousands of dollars worth of debt again. So for now, its camping upstairs with furniture. A date with a crowbar and hammer to face in the days ahead. Two daughters displaced out of their bedrooms, my office furniture as well as everything else relocated to the space in between our dining room, living room, and everywhere in between, mattresses piled sky high in the hallway much to the cat's pleasure, work boots to wear for showering in the only working bathroom that's located downstairs and an uncertain future as to how to prevent this from ever happening again.

We're about to have the biggest garage sale this neighborhood's ever seen. "Our line of credit balance will not budge" is going to be my new mantra and this blog will need to be changed to,"Family Minimalism Measures", cause I WILL NOT go into a penny of debt this time.

Being so focused on our bottom line budgeting in the last two years can be a positive thing. But here's the flip side....when looking at the spreadsheet of our life, you can get a little too caught up in the details of when things will get easier. Knowing that our last payment would be made in just a few short months....you can cling to the idea that when all the debt is gone, life will be good, the pressure will be off and the projects you really want to pursue can now be entertained.

There is a danger in that thinking, it's what gets so many of us into trouble. Its living in the future, not being present in the now, and obviously, hopelessly misguided, since the idea of being able to have some control over life's outcomes is unrealistic. Giving up is not an option, but thinking that somehow if I relentlessly pursue a goal, all will be well, throws a lot of monkey wrenches into other aspects of your life. The "when this happens, I will be happy" thinking is a dangerous place to live in your head.

So now what?

House sitting in the French countryside taking care of sheep, a reality show based on the five of us becoming Real Canadian Gypsy's, selling up and buying a houseboat to live on in the Caribbean, moving to Ecuador where the cost of living is cheap and I can start my own taco stand, packing up the car with suitcases, the kids and driving off into the sunset are all good options that I can't seem to let go of right now.

If I could get some sleep, maybe it will all go away and this is just a bad dream. Or maybe it won't. What I know for sure is that I will no longer put my dreams on hold for the sake of a house.

We are your Average Canadian Family and anybody need a four slice toaster, real cheap?