House naming started hundreds of years ago with rich people naming their houses.The rich named their Halls, Houses, Manors, Castles and Lodges according to ancestry, location and family titles. Gradually over the years, people extended the fad of naming to their houses too until street names and house numbers came into place in the 19th century. Still to this day, many homes are named, not so much in Canada but abroad, some because it adds a little pretentiousness to the old homestead, some believe it will hasten sales when trying to push,"The Old Rectory", and some simply to extend a age long tradition that, apparently, never gets old.
It seems only fitting that our home sweet home, too, have a great name since it tends to come up in conversation A LOT and is usually referred to in derogatory terms like," Why did we buy this piece of shit?! or "If I stub my toe one more time entering the kitchen, I am going to burn down this MF house!!". We started out with calling it the broken dream home a much gentler term when referring to our home...but after reading "The Secret", and getting lectured by many about manifestation (voodoo for wishful thinking), it seemed like we needed to come with a better name...one with a little prestige.
After a bottle of wine and some goofy GOOGLEing, we finally had it! From here on forward we shall christen our pile of sticks and mortar as Casa Cayendo! Anything in another language sounds good, often better than the real meaning intends and Casa Cayendo is no exception. I figure this way I can be truthful and manifest something positive by giving the homestead a leg up over the other non-named houses in the neighborhood to create a little house envy and perhaps spur our homestead to pull up its socks so to speak.
It also helps in keeping the language clean in front of the kids. Brady told us this week that another kid in his class used the F-U-C-K word at school and being that he can barely spell C-A-T, I'm thinking that its probably already a little to late to wash my mouth out with soap. It was a nice attempt to shift blame on his part to another kid, but I'm fairly sure the real blame lies with his Mother of the Year. Casa Cayendo, by the way, translated to English essentially means,"House Falling Down", a perfect description for the place where we hang our hats as a family.
I have been thinking a lot about all the things that have been going right for us since we started the Austerity Measures budget back in September. We have managed to pay down $9000 in debt and put a buffer of savings into each of our accounts for a rainy day. Our family time has become centered around our gym membership and great outdoor recreation activities that can be essentially done for free. We haven't reached the point of becoming extreme couponers (those people are fucking nuts!), but we have managed to get smarter at using our Air Miles, coupon clipping when it makes sense, shopping the sales, selling stuff we don't use and discussing financial priorities as a couple.
Speaking of which, last night Andrew & I sat down and drew up a list of everything the house needs to become "Casa Cayendo Hasta" or "House Falling Up". We have an unbelievable long way to go. It was always our hope that we could fix the house to enjoy it as a family.....really, I couldn't care less about the home after the kids are grown and gone. Andrew & I haven't even discussed what our retirement years will look like, but I can't imagine that we will need this house or the yard work it possesses with just the two of us. We could always turn it into a Hedonistic Retirement Retreat Home down the road...I figure the Baby Boomers will lead the way for this niche market, for sure. Sell some sexy muu-muus and bring on the George Jones!!!
We each took the list of stuff that needs to be done and numbered the items in terms of what we thought should be done first...without letting each other see the rankings until the lists were completed. Its always good to see as a couple if you are on the same page and like always.......we weren't.
I'm sure it's the same with other couples as well (actually, I hope), but with Andrew & I, we can almost always count on being on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to just about anything. We are simply not meant to be together....but somehow we managed to spend the last 18 years enjoying each others awesomeness and annoyingness despite what every single astrological, chinese horoscope, fortune telling, family foreboding and voodoo witchcraft there is simply saying that WE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER.
I will share with you a quick glimpse into the warnings:
"Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion) and Aquarius is ruled by the Planets Saturn (Karma) and Uranus (Rebellion). " Translation in our relationship...this means that Aries (Andrew) has strong and barely controllable emotions, otherwise known as stubbornness to the extreme and Aquarius is destined to be violently resistant to authority, control or conventions.
"The Rabbit can be oversensitive while the Rat is over controlling. Both have high expectations of each other and this may cause more problems. This match may not seem to bring out the best in both personalities, but once joined, it will be difficult to separate this pair. Rats and Rabbits will only frustrate each other." Basically, in a nut shell, Andrew is stubborn and I am rebellious...we should be apart, but neither one will give in.
Andrew was born in the year of the Water Rat which makes him," charming and hardworking. Those born in the Year Of The Rat are very ambitious and can be ruthless when pursuing a goal. They can be aggressive and obsessive, but if they learn to be more tolerant of others they can accomplish great things in almost any field they enter."
I, however, am a Wood Rabbit which makes me,"lucky and good at solving problems. Those born in the Year Of The Rabbit dislike fighting and aggression, preferring instead to find solutions through compromise and negotiation. They tend to avoid surprises and risky situations, which may lead to lost opportunities."
Can it be any more obvious that our relationship is a bit of a challenge when it comes to personalities?
We know all this, and yet we still manage to keep it together. I asked Andrew what he thought was the glue holding the impossible, our own version of a homogenized dressing, the key piece of the puzzle that makes it all work despite all the odds against us for our marriage and he said it was my booty. Thank God its good for something cause it sure the hell can't fit into skinny jeans or even a regular pair of pants for craps sake! Man insights are so deep.....
So after reviewing our giant list of shit that needs to be repaired and going back and forth on what we should do first and basing it on our disposable income after our existing debt is paid off from the roof ($24,000), the flood ($8,000) and the furnace we are about to pay for ($10,000). This is what we came up with and keep in mind that in order to have the disposable income to pay for it all, we will need to stick to the Austerity Measures Budget for the next 11 years and 5 months instead of the 28 months we originally planned for. Insert bad swear words here...
Casa Cayendo Fix Up
1) Kitchen $25,000= 2 years & 1 month
2) Bathrooms $15,000= 1 year & 3 months
3) Windows & Doors $25,000=2 years & 1 month
4) Decks $10,000=10 months
5) Flooring & Railing $10,000=10 months
6) Fireplace $10,000=10 months
7) Landscaping $5000=5 months
8) New Furniture $5000=5 months
Casa Cayendo Total Repairs= $100,000 = 8 years of Austerity Measures
Goals:
1) Family Trip to Mexico $8000=8 months
2) Family Trip to Paris, France $10,000=10 months
4) Strippers or Holiday to Newfoundland for Andrew's 50th Birthday=$2000=2 months (I suggested Newfie strippers and he said no.)
5) Kayak For Miranda's 45th x 2=$2000
Goals = $41,000 = 3 years + 5 months of Austerity Measures
Current Debt Goal:
Paid off by Jan 2015
1) Jan 2015 Kitchen $25,000 Paid off by Feb 2017
2) Family Trip to Mexico $8000 Paid off by Oct 2017
3) New Furniture $5000 Paid off by March 2018
4) Bathrooms $15,000 Paid off by June 2019
5) Paris $10,000 Paid off by April 2020
6) Decks $10,000 Paid off by February 2021
7) Kayak for Miranda Paid off by $2000 April 2021
8) Windows & Doors Paid off by $25,000 May 2023
9) Trip to Newfoundland Paid off by $2000 July 2023
10) Floors/Railings Paid off by $10,000 May 2024
11) Fireplace $10,000 Paid off by March 2025
12) Landscaping $5000 Paid off by August 2025
In 2025, I will be 50, Andrew is 53, Savy is 25, Lucy is 22, Brady is 19. By the time we get the house fixed and paid off Andrew and I will be halfway to becoming centenarians, and the kids may have long ago moved out! Not only that but we will have potentially three university/college educations to pay for and while we may be putting some money monthly towards RRSP's, it will hardly cover 4 years of education for three kids.
After pondering this doom and gloom of dreams not quite realized the way I would like them, since my hope was always that we would raise our family in a renovated broken dream home, I decided that getting 'there' is an illusion. Life is what you make it, right here, right now. Everything I need to create the life of my dreams is within me.
Everything, including the strippers, well maybe not the strippers, is important in its own way but it is not critical to my families state of well-being. I doubt very much that my kids will care so much that we had new flooring in the kitchen and fancy plants in the yard (that I may or may not be able to keep alive). I'm very sure that Andrew will be able to turn 50 without strippers....when he has my 50 year old booty to thrill him. (Some things get better with age, right?)
To make me feel a little better because whether we can rationalize dreams away or not, they still to each of us, are at the end of the day important, I thought I would instead focus on budgeting for the things in my life that are a priority beyond Casa Cayendo. These are things that I can manage as priorities with no financial burden at all.....
1) Family: To have time with my immediate family, and to stay connected with loved ones across the country.
2) Health: To be physically, mentally and spiritually fit.
3) Location: To be able to live where I want to live and raise my family in a community that feels safe, has opportunities for my children and is connected to easily accessible nature and recreation.
4) Security: To have a steady income that fully meets my family's basic needs and to be in a loving relationship that provides a stable home and example for my children.
5) Friendship: To have connection to my spouse, the people I love in my inner circle, the people I work with, my community and people I respect, and to be respected by them through my offer of friendship and love.
6) Independence: To have freedom of thought and action. To be able to act in terms of my own time, schedules and priorities. To be able to seek out the things, activities and opportunities that jazz me.
7) Personal Accomplishment: To achieve significant goals. To be involved in undertakings I believe personally are significant - whether or not they bring me recognition from others.
8) Personal Development: To learn and to do challenging work that will help me grow, that will allow me to utilize my best talents and mature as a human being.
9) Enjoyment: To enjoy my life, and my work. To find ways to have fun doing just about anything everyday.To laugh a lot....cause there isn't a better way to handle things when shit goes wrong and life just doesn't turn out the way you expected. As Robert Fulghum puts it,"“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death”
10) Live in the Present Moment: To focus on the tasks I take as we work towards our goals as a family, and be mindful of each moment. Learn to absorb everything from my time with the kids, to my interactions at work, to meeting our financial goals to the trips and adventures as a family we take because each moment in time will eventually be gone forever and we won't even remember or give a crap that we had a great new couch in 2018.
We are your Average Canadian Family and we have everything a family could wish for.......even if we never see eye to eye.
